shhh..you dont talk about that here

I know you are probably expecting me to talk about my goals I have been reaching with my weight and I have to say thats not what Ill be talking about again. My journey with this blog will not only be about my weight its my life period that includes my growth in the Lord, my eye opening experiences my struggles everything.

A little bit about the weight part of my life I have been soo busy and also sick this past October it seems like nothing has gone right with having time or energy to workout but like I have said before nothing is going to stop me from finishing what I have started as long its pleases God Im going to continue to better my health and weight no matter how long it takes.

Ok so what made me write today is recently God has been revealing somethings to me about what he wants me to do with my life where he wants me to go next. He hasnt really said when these things are going to happen but he has said Tesia there is no way out of what I am wanting you to do SO JUST DO IT!! AHHHH!!! thats what I am feeling right now with this is yes I am so willing to do what you want me to God but do I really have to talk about that to reach people? DO I need to be all vulnerable and stuff with strangers? friends with family?..uhh that is soooo not ok lol.. Like I know people out there you have those things about you that no one knows about except you and God or maybe the other people involved in it with you. And you cant imagine ever speaking to anyone about it for fear of judgement or rejection or the annoying pity looks and pats on the back. Why is that? A few of my girlfriends and I were discussing the issue last night and I feel like we still didnt get an answer from our great talk we had like why do we let ourselves care? Though for the most part I honestly do not care what people think of me I know I live for an audience of One and if what I am doing is pleasing him then thats all that matters because through pleasing and loving him I grow to love others you feel me?..but then I have satan and my own human fears messing with my head like Tesia if you do this people will never look at you the same ohhh those Christian Folk who are suppose to love you are going to look down on you...uhh then back to Tesia's shell she goes.

Also why is it where I am suppose to be the most open is where I fear to do just that The Church. Now dont get me wrong I am not trying to bash the church and I struggle with putting myself out there period but as I know my life is being called into ministry this is my focus right now. Why amongst Christians there is so much things hidden away from each other in the dark. That is just the opposite of God who is light, that is where the enemy wants us to be we shouldnt be there. Im not saying every single thing about ourselves need to be all out in the open and everyone needs to give their like life story in front of large crowds of people but those things that have shaped us and that can possibly help someone else we need to stop allowing our fears and ourselves get in the way of God's work. We are are suppose to be one, we are suppose to family and be able to help one another and keep each other accountable but how can we do that if we dont speak to one other go beyond the surface shallow stuff LETS GET DEEPER PEOPLE. Now I know why we dont out of the fear of judgment, pity, people changing the way they view you but you know what WHO CARES!!! we need to let God speak through and for us more and be more obedient. Look at Moses he could barely speak yet when he listened and allowed God to do it for him he did mighty things for God's glory. Im sure those people who didnt know him before who heard him speak couldnt even imagine that, that man had ever had a speech issue. He put his obedience infront of his fear and through that his people were freed and God was exalted and praised!

I am not trying preach to you guys I am learning this myself and speaking to myself as well this is one of my biggest things I am dealing with right now. I may not come off that way with people but I am very private person even with my family with internal battles, past heart aches, hang ups, issues things I am dealing with even now most I have kept/keep to myself for many of the reasons I spoken of before. But as I grow in my walk with the Lord even today as I am writing this he is speaking to me as well that we need to speak up more.. that I Tesia Jean-Baptiste need to speak up more to help advance the kingdom of God by us being free from those chains. That I just need to remember to put myself behind him and the cross and allow him to speak through me. After my friend Savannah died we had shirts made in her memory and on the front it says Be Transparent but I have not done that and the enemy plays on that all the time.

I am tired of it and though it will be hard for me to do I know in order for no one else to fall through the cracks on my watch I have to be willing to speak up and be vulnerable and do what I allow my friends/family and even at times strangers be with me is TRANSPARENT! I ask for everyone who knows me that is even remotely close to me to forgive me because in reality you barely know me. I know sooo much about so many of you and I thank you for trusting me but I ask you to forgive me because I havent trusted you. Before I get emotional Im signing off but I hope you all feel encouraged today and know God loves you and wants you to be free of whatever chains are holding you back. The world says surrendering is giving up and in a way losing your freedom and control but when you surrender to the Lord and his will for you its the most liberating experience EVER!! Again I am not saying you need to tell everyone you meet about yourself but if you feel that tug on your heart from God to share something with someone do it the only fear you should have is of the being telling you to do it and he already knows your issues so why be scared? He could be using you to help save someone's life dont run from it! or helping you save your own life. When things are in the light the more we are fighting this battle against the enemy and winning.

And if you dont get anything out of what I just wrote what I do pray and hope you leave with is STOP WORRYING WHAT OTHERS MAY THINK OR SAY ABOUT YOU THE ONLY ONE YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT IS THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU WAY MORE THAN ANYONE EVER COULD!! AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT IS YOU HAVE DONE OR GONE THROUGH OR MISTAKE YOU WILL MAKE IN THE FUTURE. REMEMBER HIS GRACE AND REMEMBER YOU SERVE AN AUDIENCE OF ONE!! LOVE LOVE YOU ALL

Tesia
Proverbs 3:5-6

Somethings you dont understand right away.

Today I'm not going to really talk about about my weight the one thing Ill mention is I'm down another dress size thank you Lord 6 SIZES I CANT BELIEVE IT!! ITS A GREAT FEELING THOUGH!!. Ok well speaking of the Lord he is continuing to mold me and work in my life. Somethings have recently happened that I wasnt expecting which actually no I wont say I wasnt expecting in a way I was and I was hoping I was wrong but I know God has a plan for me and whatever answers He sees that I NEED not what just I want He will give them to me.

Its very humbling when you think you have everything together and then something happens to remind you how jacked up you are without God. I received that one part (we are jacked up) in church last sunday one of the best sermons I have ever received ever I am so blessed to have found the church that I have here in Georgia. I have been challenged in different aspects of my life recently and its so comforting to know I have the Lord to guide me through everything good and bad through easy times and hard, THROUGH IT ALL! ITS AHHMAZING. He is the only constant in my life and its a great feeling knowing he is there even when I mess up and stumble he is there to pick me back up, even when I doubt he is there to show me why I shouldnt. Even though Im not always faithful he is. He knows whats best for me and is waiting for when Im willing to let him give it to me. We say we want to surrender but do we really? I know its something all of us struggle with but the feeling of complete surrender is one of the best in the world. I pray for all who read this to know that God he is real and when you open your heart and life to having an intimate relationship with him through his son Jesus Christ its the most fulfilling and best decision you could ever make for your life and for what you cant see in this life. Trust me it is THE BEST DECISION YOU COULD EVER MAKE IT!

When i think about my past and think about where I am now I start to cry because I see how by simply putting my faith in him he has molded me from someone in deep despair, darkness, no peace, mean, selfish, miserable into something beautiful, full of life, humbled, understanding, compassionate and determined to be the light he has brought into my life into the world. Its hard for me to think of my life now without him it just doesnt make any sense. I am NOTHING without Him. Thats all from me this week and I end with this, even with the hard times, the bad times, and the sad times I love the journey I am on and cant wait to see where he takes me next.

Tesia :)
Proverbs 3:5-6

Another WAKE UP CALL!!

So yes I know I was suppose to blog last week but I honestly didnt want to because after I check the scale I gained a 1.5lb back which I was kinda expecting the way I have been going the past couple weeks with late meetings and late night dinners but it still was a blow for me. I know I know what you are thinking Tesia!! its only a 1.5 but still for the last 4 months all I have been seeing is loss so to see gain kinda was a blow but also another wake up call to make sure I get my meals in and keep pushing myself during my workouts. With that said within just this past week I have lost another 4.5lbs!! so I loss 3 lbs plus the 1.5lbs I had gained so PRAISE BE TO GOD HE IS SOO GOOD!! I know I say it a lot but its true I could not be where I am without him.

You are probably wondering where I am in total and I am 25.5lbs down!!! its a crazy feeling Im almost at another major goal wow cant believe it!!..Last night at church my pastor reminded us where in Psalm 37 to delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. It is so true if you truly understand what is being said in that passage because for me like it was when I realized this is a way I'm glorifying my father and that is part of my walk in him, is when it helped me get it together to lose this weight and get healthy. It was when I knew I could never allow myself to put losing this weight infront of God is when it all clicked in my head on how I need to lose this weight. And that while I'm punching that bag or walking up and down those hills I can bring glory to God and exalt his name. ITS A GREAT FEELING KNOWING YOU ARE IN HIS WILL AND CAN JUST ENJOY THE RIDE!!

I know this journey I am on right now will never end for me that weight will always be an issue and one slip up I will be back where I started and like even 10 steps farther back but I know if I remain diligent,wise, honest to myself, and with the encouragement I receive I will FIGHT THIS FIGHT UNTIL THE LORD TAKES ME HOME!! :)

Although I miss my family, friends, and church family back at home in Florida very much. God has blessed me by working it out for me to be here in ga and attend Destiny Metropolitan Church if you would have told me at this time last year I would be here helping my cousin and joining ministries at this church here in the atlanta area I would have laughed at you but I am so glad it happened. I have grown so much in my walk and been challenged so much it is allowing the continuation to mold me into the woman I know God wants me to be its great and who knows where this will go in the future I know it can only go up from here. :)

God is working!!

Well I cant believe its been almost a month since I blogged last I just didnt feel like I had much to share these past few weeks up until now so here I go are you ready? I dont think you are ready lol. So of course what I said would happen, happened I started to get bored of the workout I was doing and it really started to worry me and I did get a little discouraged about me reaching my goals that I have set up for myself but God is good. As I was roaming through facebook there was this ad on the right side of the screen for this martial arts gym here in ga called X3 Sports and they give these intense kickboxing classes and many other martial arts inspired workouts to help people lose weight, tone up, and learn some self defense moves. For some reason it really intrigued me so I decided to head in and check it out.

When I walked into this small gym it was like pow in your face I tried not to show my fear on my face when I walked in lol but what I saw this teacher making the students do I kind of wanted to run out the door but something told me to stay keep watching and learn more about this gym.  SO after talking to one of the people that work there and getting a good deal I joined the gym all I have to say is OMG!! THEY DONT MESS!! haha Im so glad I joined within the week of going to my first class I have lost* 3lbs PRAISE GOD!! SO that means I have lost 22lbs in total since I have started this process I wanted to be a little farther than that by now but its ok little hicups will not stop me from reaching my goal and God is guiding me through it all and its ahhmazing the strength you have when you rely on him and not on yourself.

I love going to class (yes I know you are saying Tesia you just started of course you do its new) but like I do and I know I will continue to love it, its like you have a personal trainer every time you go to the gym without having to pay the extra money for him/her. Also when it comes to the combinations you have to do the ones I dont get through all the way it just motivates me to keep going to class so one day I can get through all of the combinations without any breaks. I love it and I there so many other things I can do there so I know I wont get bored of what I am doing thank the Lord. I also praise the Lord what he is doing in m spiritually its like with things I seem to be getting challenged with he is constantly using to form me into the woman he wants me to be. To be of pure heart, mind and body, to love others even when they hurt me, to forgive because I have been forgiven by my savior, and not to be apathetic and let those who dont know him slip through the cracks. It if wasnt for the Lord I would not be here none of us would we play with our eternal destinies and lives too much we need to get it together people especially the American church we have put God in a box and lowered our standards to suit man which is so far off and we need to bring it back to God NOW!! It scares me to see where we will be in the next few years if we keep going down the road we are on..uhh Lord have mercy..

Another thing I have been blessed to be able to have joined a church here in ga that knows we cant play with our walks with the Lord anymore we need to get it together and if you ever come visit me here you will be visiting you have been warned haha :)

God is real, he is AHHHMAZZZING!!, he has unconditional love for you and has purpose for you....you just have to be willing to seek him to find it :)

Thats all for now folks Im outie PRAISE BE TO GOD!!

Tesia

Proverbs 3:5-6

A lot on my mind...

So I have a lot on my mind so many thing so many emotions/situations/decisions I dont even know where to begin. I guess I'll get into so of them hmm so Im still doing well with my eating my workouts took a back seat last week I just felt so exhausted all day everyday I felt like mush it was horrible. Then I realized why and oh the great fun of being a female NOT!! and its like as I get older my pms gets worse. I dont get it but I do know its ridiculously annoying cramps are beyond painful, my emotions run ramped, attitude is worse then usual lol. AHHHH!!! ITS HORRIBLE!!! Im so over it.

Anywho so this week it got better I have been able to work out twice a day again and maintain my eating so its been good. OH AND IM DOWN 4 PANT SIZES AHHH!!! I found out on saturday and it definitely helped boost my spirits back up after such an awful week. The number continues to go down Im so blessed by the Lord and what he is doing in me spiritually and mentally to be able to keep fighting this battle because as I say again it really isnt about the physical its all mental.

This doesnt have to do anything with my weight but it is something I want to share with those who are reading this. As most of you know my mother has been working at Jupiter Medical Center Pavillion as a CNA for over 20 years loyal, dedicated, and hard working. This past June she was falsely accused of assault on a patient and was unlawfully fired due to this accusation. It has been hard on my family with this unexpected blow but of course God knows the plan he has for my mother and our family but I do ask for you continued prayers as we continue to work on the situation and also for my siblings down in Florida especially my sister as a load has been thrown on her with this sudden situation. I will say one battle we have won already and the one my mother was most concerned with and that is her name be cleared and the charges as well and with that said she received a phone call from the Attorney General of Florida giving her the great news that her charges are cleared and that she should not have been fired ISNT GOD AHHHMAZZZING?!!!!! but we still have some other issues to handle so please keep my family in your prayers. thanks soo much :) I wish I could be with my mom right now but I know she is being taken care of and is in great hands praise God!! 

So as this next school year is fastly coming up( I know Im all over the place today I warned you ahead of time lol) I have a lot of decisions to make and goals I know I need to reach soon so we will see how things go Lord willing I dont lose my mind through all of this haha. Man what a year it has been already I cant believe it I never imagined where I am now I would be a year ago God is soo good even in hard crazy times I know he is there and molding me into the woman he wants me to be and I must say its been quite interesting (the whole molding process) cant deny that one bit. Oh and time just keeps going by faster and faster doesnt it? I swear it was just January hmm wow.OOooohhhh that thing we call life and I definitely just want to keep making the best of mine :) Do you?

laters

T.

Jeremiah 29:11 :)

Slowly but surely...

So I finally weighed myself today and I have lost another 2lbs around there so not very much but better to lose than gain right?..just trying to stay positive not gonna lie I keep wanting it to go by much faster so I can see myself ohh well patience is key with this game called weight loss.

I dont have much to say this week other than God is soo good, his word is true, his grace is sufficient and I love my family and friends so much I am so blessed.

later people

Jeremiah 29:11 :)

Sooooooooo....

So yea a couple weeks ago I went home to Florida(THE BEST STATE EVER!!) to visit family and friends and to relax and enjoy my little vaca...yea that wasnt the case at all lol. I was all over the place but it was worth it I had a great time at home but not gonna lie it was hard for me to leave again. What was even harder is trying to get back into my routine that I have up here. 

When we first got back here my cousin and I both felt sluggish and out of whack just from being off our routine for a week its been hard but we are back on track. Im back to working out twice a day and lifting so Im feeling good again. The eating part that I was scared to do when I got home I wasnt hard on myself because I was on vacation but I didnt over do it either so that was good but I also realized being home during this process is not good for me. My family we are busy people school,work, work, work, church activities we barely cook at home its usually take out or something because we are always on the run or just tired and dont have the time or energy to cook. Which in the long run is going to have a big impact in our lives a negative one which scared me a little so to be honest even though I miss home a lot Im glad I am here during this journey its making it a lot easier to stay focused on the goals I have set up for myself. Oh yea I will reach those goals too so dont doubt me!! well ok go ahead and doubt me so I can just prove you wrong haha

Anywho one of those goals is to run a marathon next year with two of my friends Im going to start training for it soon Im excited!! Im thinking either one for breast cancer awareness or diabetes something meaningful to me that i can relate to in someway. So look out for that people it should be interesting. Oh and I havent weighed myself since I have left and I dont plan on weighing myself again until next thursday when I have been fully back into my routine for over a week.

I'll be honest I have had some rough days and I know not everyday is going to be easy bean. That Im not always going to feel like working out and enjoying that certain type of food. So yea certain days have been hard where I have felt I havent accomplished much but I will also say God is getting me through that mental game so its all good. I see it as a way to keeping myself humble in this process and remember he is the number one being who will get me through this journey. Ok Im off people

To God be the glory have a blessed weekend guys :)

ME

Proverbs 3:5-6